In what may lead to a forgettable war on the Iberian Penninsula, Spain’s newest possession – the Santiago de Compostela Codex Calixtinus (a religious book with a lot of poorly drawn pictures) — which Spain claims is like the best book ever, has caused oily tempers to flare over whatever counts as a border between it and pesky neighbor Portugal.
“We love this book!” Spain responded. “It’s the friggin’ most awesome Codex on the planet. And it’s ours. Portugal doesn’t even read! They don’t! Everyone knows it, so … finders keepers, losers weepers.”
Portugal responded by fueling its one military plane, and searching for the pilot, Afonso, who is believed to be vacationing in Ibiza with his spinster sister, Afonsa-Maria.
Clutching the Codex to its hairy chest, Spain shot back: “If it’s Portugal’s book, how come their name is not in it? You see Portugal written anywhere on the Compostela here, huh hombre?” — while opening the cover of the unreadable ancient book and showing it to the few people who cared.
Portugal has demanded an immediate emergency session with the United Nations Library Division, claiming it is ready to present its receipt from Barnes & Noble for the tome. “$15.99. It was on sale! See, see!” Portugal chirped, waving the receipt at Spain.
Spain claims that the receipt was for an e-book, and responded by mobilizing the Nadal family. Then Spain took a nap.
Portugal is believed to have delivered a declaration of war to Madrid, only nobody in Madrid speaks Portuguese, which is really just bad Spanish when all is said and done, so this can not be confirmed.
Upon hearing of its Iberian neighbors’ squabble, France immediately mocked the Codex as a lesser work, then surrendered to Monaco.
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Spain Finds Precious Antique Book In Garage, Santiago de Compostela Codex Calixtinus: Portugal Claims It Found The Book First, And Just Lost It While Wine Tasting In Mallorca – IBERIAN WAR IMMINENT!