Romney Announces Vice Presidential Running Mate: Foghorn J. Leghorn.

Romney Announces Vice Presidential Running Mate:  Foghorn J. Leghorn.

In a move that many political pundits predicted, Mitt Romney has named a fictional character as his running mate. “I saw this coming a mile away,” Democratic Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said from her 1,214 foot hydrogen-powered airship, “though the choice of a racist Looney Tunes cartoon character was a pleasant surprise . I didn’t know the robot knew what cartoons were …”

Upon learning of the news, Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner broke into tears. “I’m just so touched that Mitt would pick such a character! I have such fond memories from childhood of watching Foghorn, and Granny, and that mean dog he was always trying to murder … it just tickles me to think that a whole new generation of Americans will be exposed to Foghorn’s wisdom … and funny accent.”

Beltway insiders believe that Foghorn will align nicely with the Republican base that Romney so badly needs. “I think it’s a given that Foghorn is anti-abortion, anti-immigration, anti-women, and certainly no fan of civil rights,” an un-named, very tiny yellow cartoon bird with a lisp stated off-the-record, “I mean, have you seen the cartoon? I’m pretty sure Foghorn owned slaves. They never actually show it, but it’s implicit, right?”

Romney so far has not acknowledged the non-existence of his running mate, cocking his head to the right, and freezing for thirty seconds every time confronted with that fact. But birther-supporter Rush Limbaugh considers the fictionality of the potential future Vice President a positive. “So what that the Rooster’s not real? What is real in Obama’s America?” a sweat covered Limbaugh bellowed this morning on his radioshow, “How do we even know Obama is real? Have you seen a real birth certificate from a real State yet? Hawaii? Right. How do we even know Obama was ever born? Answer. We don’t!”

While there has been no official statement from Foghorn Leghorn as of this posting, a Warner Bros. spokesman said that one would be coming soon. And that’s all folks.

Categories: Cartoons, Comedy, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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